Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Five Best Wine Tasting Scenes on Film

From the absurd to the sublime, wine so often plays the straight man in movies. Here are the five best wine tasting or wine related scenes on film.

1. Sardine Liqueur -- Alan Arkin and Peter Falk with Italian subtitles no less.





2. No F***in Merlot!





3. This is pretty much what happens during speed tasting at WBC. (Wine Bloggers Conference)






4. There’s always “the one” on a press trip. Or “the two"...




5. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Master Sommelier!






Monday, July 21, 2014

A Rant and a Solution for the Wine Bloggers Writing Workshop


I attended the Sunday Writing Workshop at #WBC14 led by Mike Dunne, Jim Conaway and Steve Heimoff, the same guys who were on the Saturday Wine Writer panel I wrote about here. The Sunday workshop had problems in my opinion, so I’d like to offer a solution on how to fix it for future conferences.

Oh, and I’m going to rant a bit too, so read on.

The conference agenda described the Sunday workshop as follows:  “… a two-hour workshop on Sunday that will help wine bloggers with their tone and writing.

The general advice given by the panel was sound—use proper grammar, check your spelling, gain command of comma usage, and if possible, get someone to edit your work.*  Yet when they got down to the actual critiques, it felt like the panel was scrambling to organize their thoughts on the fly and did not read the submissions completely. I’ve heard and read comments that many people in the workshop felt bewildered by the critiques. The panelists mainly evaluated the work for print publication, not the blog medium. (Which may have been the directions they were given. I don’t know.) But not all wine bloggers aspire to be print journalists. And once the panel discussed the economic reality of working as a wine writer, I doubt any will pursue full-time print writing at all.

For one submission, about winemakers in Istira, Mike Dunne advised the writer to avoid using weak descriptive language, but then he suggested the entire piece be re-written to focus on the use of Acacia barrels in the region. Yes, that would be lovely, but it was a profile piece on the winemaker, not the barrel program. How helpful was that to the writer seeking help improving a profile piece?

Next, Steve Heimoff commented on my wine tourism piece about DeLoach Vineyards and cautioned us not to “get spun” by our subjects. And then he added pointedly—“ Jean-Charles Boisset is not your friend. He does not care about you.”

What?

I was not even in Steve’s group, I was in Jim’s group. Later, via some back and forth on twitter, Steve said there is a fine line between advertorial and editorial and that my piece read like a paid PR vehicle. I can assure you I was not paid by DeLoach.

Steve Heimoff (shown right) with Mr. JCB, his friend, not mine apparently.

A journalist from the Press Democrat attended the DeLoach event and filed a story that was almost identical to mine in terms of content and facts, yet the tone was impersonal and detached. (As a  journalistic piece should be.)  My blog post covered the same facts but was imbued with my personality and experience. That's what blogs do! Enthusiasm and humor does not make it an advertorial.

You can compare and contrast for yourself. Here are links to both:
Press Democrat—DeLoach
Come For the Wine—DeLoach

I think perhaps Steve failed to consider who my audience is and may not comprehend that my readers understand my tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. I took his advertorial remark as that of the pot calling the kettle black given his new Wine Marketing Communications role at Kendall Jackson. Or maybe he secretly covets my plucky marketing acumen. (I’ll admit you can take the girl out of marketing, but you can’t take the marketing out of the girl.) But I know the difference between writing for an audience and selling to an audience.

The truth is, I actually do admire Jean-Charles Boisset and I think his efforts to create interesting, fun, and educational experiences for visitors to his wineries presents a model of wine tourism. My goal is to encourage travel to wine regions. People who read the DeLoach piece said it peaked their interest to visit. Thus, mission accomplished.

And for the record, I don’t have anything against Steve. We are quite similar really. I like hats and dogs and wine too. And unlike some bloggers ( see #7)* -- I don't think his is a doddering, out of touch, grandpa. Heck, we may be the same age for all I know. (Just don’t call my blog advertorial, Gramps!)
*Well, anotherwineblog.com in link above only said -- "grand-fatherly” -- not doddering and out of touch, those are my words.

End of rant.

Now, on to my suggestion for improving the workshop.

SOLUTION--

I think it was difficult for the panel to read so many posts and try to offer something concrete for each participant. Workshop was the wrong word to describe what the session delivered.

If WBC wants to offer this type of session again, I think the format needs to be recast as a PAID one-day pre-conference workshop and taught by a qualified writing instructor.

Workshop discussion topics could include:
*Framing a story
*Crafting a lede
*How to decide which form is best for your story
*Creating a compelling story arc
*How to write vivid prose and avoid clichés
*How to pitch stories
*How to work with editors
*How writing for the web differs from writing for print!!! -- Because it does! {Unicorns be damned}

The workshop should also include in-class writing exercises.

So what should something like this cost? I’d say around $200-$300 per person. This amount would be a massive bargain compared to fees for similar one-day writing workshops and help ensure the chosen instructor is compensated and worthy. No qualified writer would or should ever do this kind of thing for free.

Marcy & Steve on the advertorial/editorial slide.
--It’s a slippery slope.

By the way, the day you can't rant on your blog is the day the Internet ends.

* WARNING: this blog may contain typos, grammatical errors, and egregious misuse of commas.

Related Post: Impressions on the Wine Writers Panel at #WBC14 Buellton and My Hunch About Jim Conaway’s Next Book

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Five Stages of Wine Blogging*


{*The Five Stages of Wine Blogging are based on The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief.}

Denial"I am NOT a wine blogger. I'm a writer! This can't be happening, not to me!" Denial is usually only a temporary defense as the individual realizes they have an irresistible urge to write a wine blog.

Anger — "Why me? It's not fair! How did this happen to me? Wine blog judges are idiots!" Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Anger and jealousy issues arise. "My blog is just as good as Dirty Mouth Wine or Grape-a-Saurus and Sniff This! Why don't I have more readers and awards? I want an award! And why can't I have a crazy unpronounceable name like Yalder Arrow? I'm somebody toooo!"

Bargaining —  "I will post every day for a year if I can just get a trip to France and several cases of wine samples every month. I promise I will only blog on weekends and days that end in 'Y" and I vow to see my family more than once a week."  The third stage involves the realization that you might get some free stuff because of your blog, but maintaining a wine blog is a lot of work. This stage is more difficult for bloggers who have non-blogging spouses and actual day jobs.

Depression"Hey, what's with all those other bloggers I see going on press trips? And where are my wine samples!?! How come I'm not getting all that free stuff? My blog is not the ticket to respect and credibility I once thought it would be." The sad realization you are not, and never will be, The HoseMaster of Wine sets in.

Acceptance"I am a wine blogger. I attend conferences. I have business cards. I go on press trips. I get free wine samples." Admitting that you are a wine blogger is the first step to a normal blogging life, quickly followed by complete acceptance. "I am a slave to my blog. I am so depressed." 

NOTE: I started my blog because I wanted to attend the 2009 Wine Bloggers Conference and the sign-up page required you submit the URL of your wine blog. So I bought a domain and started a wine blog. Just like that. I had no idea where this ruse would lead. But I must say wine blogging has been berry berry good to me.

If you don't have a wine blog I urge you to start one today. You'll be amazed at how many people you'll irritate and annoy if you do. Plus, the 5th Annual Wine Bloggers Conference is in Portland, Oregon this August, and you need to have a wine blog to attend. Hope to see you there.

ADDENDUM:  The Portland WBC is sold out. But I hear Ron Washam is holding a poodle grooming and blogger de-programming seminar that weekend. Apply now by sending Ron a 500-word essay on why you deserve to live, along with your $1200.00 non-refundable deposit check.

{*The Five Stages of Wine Blogging are based on The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief.}

Friday, May 13, 2011

Wine Pleasures Portugal: The Boxed Set

All good things must come to an end eventually, and although I could keep writing about Portugal for another two months I think I have covered all the highlights now. Whew! Thanks for following along. It was an incredible visit and in addition to all the fabulous wine and port and food my fondest memories are of the people. No matter where you travel, it's the people you meet that make the journey worthwhile. The crazy ones make for great stories, (you-know-who) while others make for lifelong friendships.

Long bus trips can lead to all sorts of mayhem. And if you've ever been on a Wine Bloggers Conference bus trip you probably know the feeling. --- Here's a quick video of some of the people I met on the Wine Pleasures tour and their comments about the trip on our final day in the Douro. Thanks to everyone for being such good sports. The lighting is not so good, but the scenery and background chatter is priceless!



And if that's not enough to scare you... here are some out-takes from "Bucky's Stuffed Wine Show" (Special thanks to Jethro for kind loan of his "teddies")


Next year the Wine Pleasures Conference will be in Umbria, Italy. If you'd like to be a part of it apply here.

Here are all the links to my Portugal series and links to other participants posts as well. If I missed your post let me know and I will add it to the list.


Wine Pleasure Participant Posts:
Grantoursimo --
Douro Part 1
Douro Part 2

Aneesh Bhasin-

Messina Hof:


Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Five Types of Wine Bloggers -What Kind of Wine Blogger Are You?



1. The Amateur Professional
Has an actual paying job in an industry other than wine but is a knowledgeable, studious and zealous blogger.

2. The Mad Libber
Reviews wine by using a rotating list of adjectives to describe the “nose” and “mouth feel”. Posts are identical with the exception of the photo. Writing style mimics a Mad Libs game.

3. The Know-it-All
Pompous and ingratiating, the know-it-all really does know it all; but it does not make them any less annoying.

4. The Wild Card
Crazy anarchist self-styled lunatic loves the “juice” for it’s higher power. Writes incomprehensible posts about harmonic convergence, interpretive dance and numerology that inspire the wine god within.

5. The Interloper
Cares little about wine blogging but pumps out enough posts to play the game and actively solicits wineries to send them samples.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

They Do Things Different In Wine World


99 bottles of beer, 60 bottles of Grenache, 200 bottles of Red, White & Whatever, 3 Fire Dancers, 1 pot of Gumbo from Zin Resturant, and a Beer Wench on the Roof.

That's the partial list of what I encountered at a recent Birthday Bash for William Allen (aka @SonomaWilliam) here in Wine World-- the mystical devils triangle of wine, food & people in Sonoma County, or SoCo as it’s affectionately known.

Back in the day, before I lived in Wine World and became acquainted with the wine blogging elite, dinner parties were a more somber affair. We’d dine, we’d talk directly to each other, actually look people in the eye as we conversed. When guests arrived a bottle of bubbles might be poured. Then with dinner an appropriate wine for the meal would be served. When that sole bottle was done, and if the meal was still in progress, the host might say-- “Should we open another bottle?” The guests would demure “Oh, I don't know. Well, maybe, but don't open it unless everyone wants more. Don’t open it just for me.”

How quaint! Perhaps those were the days to which Mr. Thoreau was speaking when he said--"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Maybe they were just waiting for the host to open another bottle. Ha!
Not anymore. Welcome to Wine World! Since moving to SoCo dinner parties, in fact all parties are an all out wine-o-rama. Ten dinner guests? Expect to see 30 bottles or more on the table. In SoCo the bottles seem to multiply faster than tribbles on the Star Ship Enterprise.
Things are different here.

Parties in Wine World are not drunk fests. (Well okay, actually some of them are, or I should say for some people they are) but the majority of the guests are just true oenophiles, so enthusiastic about a wine that they want to share it with you, and tell you all about it.
In reality, although there may be hundreds of bottles out at a party, not all are opened or even finished. Save for the really exceptional wines which are drained quickly. It’s like the salad bar. You taste a little of this, try a little of that, then maybe go back for some more bacon bits and skip the jello.

Add to all this the furious tweeting that goes on and you may find you spent half the night looking at your phone instead of the other guests. Unless of course there are fire dancers in attendance--then everybody is looking up at the show.
Often at these parties you'll find a few folks walking around with bottle held close to their chest, they’ll pull you aside and say- “Hey--You gotta try this.” A small amount is poured into your glass. You swirl, sniff, sip and nod your approval. Before you can thank them, they are off pulling aside someone else like some guy in Times Square clandestinely selling watches from the inside a trench coat.

Thankfully for my health and sanity, I don't attend too many of these bacchanal’s. But it always amazes me when I do. It’s made me re-think what wow-factor really is. After you attend one of these blow-out affairs with first rate food and fire dancers providing the entertainment, you realize your idea for Pony Rides and Happy Meals at your birthday party is just not going to cut it.
With some things it’s best to know you can’t compete.
C'est la vie' – That’s life.

Friday, July 2, 2010

The TSA Took My TorkScrew Away (Sung to the tune of the Ramones hit “The KKK Took My Baby Away”)


I only fly carry-on, never check bags even if I’m going away for a month. So I’m pretty clear on what can make it through the TSA check. But I had no idea the seemingly innocuous “TorkScrew” would cause so much trouble.

I was given a TorkScrew at #WBC10 Wine Bloggers Conference in Walla Walla by Neil Klindworth (@Torkscrew on twitter). The TorkScrew is a cork screw for opening screw caps on wine bottles. As Neil said; it “...adds some romance to the twist off.” Okay. I’ll go for that. I’m willing to try novel things. After all, in a moment of weakness, I did once buy one of those motion sensor talking trouts from Wall Mart.

Anyway, I gladly accepted the TorkScrew from Neil and went about my merry WBC way. I never really looked at it all that closely, I figured it was just a magnetic twist off device. I threw it in the bottom of my bag and forgot about it.

Fast forward to PDX. I had a 6 am flight to SFO and the TSA line was packed at 5:30 am. I’d removed any last bottles of wine, even gave one to the desk clerk at Aloft in PDX, and gave away my traditional corkscrews as well. But I’d completely forgot about the TorkScrew that was hiding in the corner of my carry-on.

Into the conveyor went my bag, but out the other side it did not come.

Next thing I know I’m being pulled aside and asked to open my bag.

The latex gloved agent delicately picked around my wine stained clothing and then plucked the TorkScrew triumphantly from it’s hiding place like Little Jack Horner pulling out a plum.

“What is this?”

“Um... It’s a TorkScrew.”

“A what?”

“TorkScrew sir. Says right there on the package.”

“And what’s it for?”

“It’s for opening wine bottles with twist off caps. Someone I just met gave it to me.”

As soon as I said that, I knew I was in trouble and never going to see the TorkScrew again.

“A stranger gave you this?”

“Um, well, sort of. I guess you could call him a new friend I had not met yet. But theoretically stranger would be correct.”

“Here in the airport he gave you this?”

“Ah no! It was in Walla Walla. At a wine bloggers conference.”

“M’am this has a knife on it and I’m sorry, but you cannot carry this on board.”

“It does? Let me see that.” And indeed it did have a foil cutter and traditional corkscew on it as well. “Hey that’s cool huh?” I said.

The TSA agent took back the TorkScrew and directed me to a secondary screening area. Next I got “wanded” and then was free to go. I have a feeling someone in Portland is going to get a very groovy TorkScrew as a gift very soon. If you want one too you can track down that agent or go here.

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