A few weeks ago I gave my glass of wine a little bit too hearty a sniff, and darn if I didn’t inhale a tablespoon or more of wine. It was a bit shocking not to mention messy. But afterwards I seemed to be able to breathe better. Probably because I was no longer on the verge of drowning.
So today I was having some allergy problems due to an ongoing bathroom remodel in my house and figured I should use the neti pot to do some nasal irrigation and prevent any build up of nasty sheet rock dust in my sinuses. Normally one uses a salt or baking soda mixture in a netti pot to create a harmonious yet cleansing environment in the nasal and sinus cavities. I didn’t have any salt or baking soda on hand so I turned to what I thought would be the next best thing—Lambrusco. I just happened to have some left over from the night before. It was fresh and bubbly even a tad astringent so I figured why not and poured it in the netti pot.
On the palate the Lambrusco’s fruity effervescence is light and pleasing, but up the nose and thru the sinuses it’s downright roiling. The pain was so sharp I thought my eyes were going to explode and my brain stem was going to pop out my ear. The Lambrusco that did not go thru my sinuses backed up into my throat and all I can say about that is that wine is best experienced by going over the tongue en route to the throat, not the other way around. I’m hoping I did not introduce any harmful bacteria with this stunt but I figure the alcohol content will kill off any stray microbes. I don’t recommend that you actually try this if you want to have access to your olfactory senses for the remainder of your life, but it was an invigorating experience and left my sinuses feeling as clear as limpid pools of spring melt in a glacial valley.
Next time: Getting Crazy with the Cheez Whizz & Ear Candleing with Twizzlers